Out Walking About in a Safe Society
Jerome
was in town and, yes, he stopped by our Voices Editorial Offices
Campus. And we all went to lunch. He is still working on his ideas for Public
Affairs as Situation Comedy (see Stuff, Voices
Eighteen). Some
Studios are still considering his scenarios and he is going to go pitch
those Producers later this afternoon. Jerome has more material because
of a conservation
he had with his old buddy Marlin LaPoint, the gun guy. (If you think
you want to
know more about Marlin see Stuff, Voices Five).
We
sat down for lunch and after a few moments coloring on the kids’ menu Jerome
set the crayon down. ‘I hope the kids’ mac and cheese here is better than the
last time’ he said. ‘So what is new out there in Kern County’ we asked. ‘Guys
this is interesting. I have something that is really going to get the Studio’s
attention this time.’ We answered that we thought that he had good stuff the
first time. As before, we will let Jerome tell you about this one in his own
words.
‘Good
yes, but not this good.’ He takes a sip from his glass of whiskey, we do
likewise from our beers. ‘I ran into Marlin LaPoint the other day. You remember
Marlin?’ ‘Oh yes we do’ we say all at once. ‘I was down at City Park just
finishing a long walk and saw Marlin as he had just finished washing out some
of his laundry in the sink of the public facilities. He said ‘let’s catch up.
It will take a little time for these to dry’ as the placed the laundry over the
wall at the edge of the park. There was a bench close by. Marlin sits. I
follow.
‘What
are you working on’ he asked me, not really wanting an answer. Before I could
say ‘nothing much new’ he started. ‘New legislation. Working on new
legislation. We have been waiting for our well-meaning but liberal-leaning
friends from the National you know what Association. But they have been
dragging their feet, pussy footin,’ in getting needed firearms legislation
passed. So we of Gun Freedom are stepping up, as we often have to do.’ I look
around, but see no escape. But then think, maybe ‘new material’ here. ‘So Marlin,
you have written a new law?’ I ask.
‘Yes
we have! The Family Home and Neighborhood Safety and Responsible Firearms
Ownership Act.’ There is a pause I say nothing. Marlin continues ‘our law
contains the ancient established Legal concept of Qualified Impunity.’
He waits for me to say something so I do ‘why do you need this law Marlin?’
‘Why? Why!’ he answers. ‘Our citizens in the neighborhoods are helpless now.
Vulnerable! They are at the mercy of evil!’ ‘How so?’ I ask. ‘How? I’ll tell
you how!’
‘You
live in a neighborhood. Now anybody can walk down your street. We have reports
from fearful citizens of things that happen in neighborhoods every day. Persons
come and walk on the sidewalks. They walk by close to the homeowners car. Take
photos of a neighbor’s flower garden. Speak to the homeowner’s dog. Tried to
pet a homeowner’s cat. The violation of having a passerby put trash into YOUR
trash can. Walking their dogs by terrorizing YOUR dogs. And the CATS. And
besides, some people who walk down the street are really scary! And what if a
passerby reaches for his waistband?’
I
wonder if Marlin is just kidding me. So I will go along, ‘what will the law
do?’ I ask. ‘Preparedness is key. There are more firearms than people. So
certainly more firearms than houses. The Law will require a military grade
firearm in every house. We will do this through lend-lease or swap. Then every
third house will rotate on duty during key danger hours. A Guardian will stand
guard from the front porch or front yard. He or she will be responsible for
their home and the ones to either side. Use lethal force for any danger.’ I ask
‘lethal force means you shoot someone walking down the street? Isn’t that
against the law?’
‘Not
this Law. This Law includes Qualified Impunity. What that means that if
a home Guardian has an honest feeling that he or she is in danger, the guardian
can use lethal force.’ ‘Its up to the Guardian?’ I ask. ‘Not just anyone can be
a Guardian.’ He answers. ‘They are licensed after a vigorous regime of
training. No less than 24 hours.’ ‘Even so’ I say ‘the authorities are going to
have questions for anyone who shoots someone for walking down the street.’
‘That is where Qualified Impunity comes in. If a Guardian shoots someone
under this Law they qualify to be impugn. Those are legal
terms Jerome.’
I
test a different approach. ‘Marlin I walk a lot. Here at the Park, sometimes in
the mountains, but often in the neighborhoods by where I live. If I understand
what you say it is no longer safe for me to walk in nearby residential areas.’
‘We act on the side of safety for the neighborhood and for good citizens like
you Jerome who like to go walking. What we suggest is that instead you walk on
the main commercial streets where the business are.’ ‘So’ I reply ‘if I
understand you correctly your Law’s provision for Qualified Impunity
does not apply to shootings on commercial streets.’
‘Oh yes it does. Businesses need protection
too. The difference is that you have to have more cause in order to shoot
because people have to be able to walk down commercial streets if they are
going to shop in the businesses.’ ‘So’ I ask ‘are there consequences?’ ‘Yes,
serious penalties. After a hearing the shooter could lose firearms privileges
for as much as a week!’ ‘So anyone with any sense would not go walking anywhere
in the city.’ ‘No Jerome, think. On commercial streets there are a lot of
places to duck when there are gunshots. Under cars, behind, or jump into the
large cement planters, trash cans, and so on.’
‘Marlin,
I think your clothes are dry now.’